And I'm not talking about my big blue hunky men. 'Cause, well, if they hit, I'd just hold on for the ride. *interject lascivious grin*
No, I'm talking about the 'will the publishing world ever notice ME?' blues. They hit nice and squarely into my chest this morning when I opened up the letter from RWA with my contest scores awaiting me inside.
I had five scores: 9...8.5...6...5.9 and 5.1
Now, why couldn't the last three be of the mindset of the first two, I ask? I know it's a subjective contest, but man, oh man! To have two judges score me so close to a 10 and three others put me in the 50-60th percentile just confuses me. And yes. It gets my feathers all ruffled, too. How else does a writer react when their novel, their baby, their fear-happiness-tears-joy-sorrow-another macandcheesenight all rolled into one, gets rejected? When we get told by the mark of a pen that what we've poured our heart and souls into isn't good enough, how do we handle it? Me? I just sat for a minute and let the hurt have its way with me.
Then I shored up my confidence and moved on.
Is the sadness still there? Yes. Will I be rejected, turned down, and/or ignored again? Certainly. But I haven't given up the fight yet! Nor do I plan to any time soon.
Don't give up, Lanna. Like I said, You're doing something right when you get a split vote like that. It's only a matter of finding the right agent or editor at the right time. I'm proud of you for not giving up the fight. :)
ReplyDeleteMuch obliged, my friend. I love how you continue to believe in me!
ReplyDeleteThe 9 and 8.5 just validate what I already know. Your story just hasn't found that special place yet. An author who can describe a feeling as a "fear-happiness-tears-joy-sorrow-another macandcheesenight" and I know EXACTLY what she means has a contract in her future!! You're awesome and so is your writing! And I'm glad you haven't given up because that would mean readers would be deprived of the Big Blues one day! And I ain't talking about depression over concert scores!! I'm talking about my man Rome!!! *sigh*
ReplyDeleteAh Rome!! Girl, I have pics of him and Ferro that would melt your and Jessica's brains. lol And thanks for thinking I'm awesome! I just fluffed my hair and grinned. :)
ReplyDelete